MARRIAGE | SEX | RELATIONSHIPS
JASEN & GOLDEN
Hello iWaited Family!! Welcome to this month’s feature!!! APRIL 3, 2014 INTERVIEW (IWAITED BLOG)
This month features Penelope and Jasen Hunt. They are NEWLYWEDS! They were married in May 2013. They’ve been married for less than a year. Penelope and Jasen currently live in Miami, FL. Penelope is a Youth Pastor and fashion designer. Jasen is a Young Adult Pastor and a freelance media specialist. I met Penelope and Jasen last year at the Poetry Night of Purity put on the Abstinence for Strong Teens International. The CEO of that organization mentioned that they had waited and since I stalk “Waiters”
I went over to them to ask them for an interview. I absolutely love Jasen and Penelope as a couple. The anointing on their life is so evident.
Please help me welcome Penelope and Jasen!!
What is your name and tell me a little bit about yourself?
Jason: My name is Jason Hunt and I just turned 30. My whole life revolves around young adults, high school and college students. I currently pastor young adult ministry, mainly for college students. It’s called New Generation for Christ. It’s a ministry that’s about revival and God bringing revival to the community and colleges. I also own a business with my wife, a fashion company. I also freelance and design. I just enjoy a relationship with Christ; I’m not religious at all. Meaning my walk with Christ is not what others would call traditional. I believe that in serving a Supernatural God, supernatural things should be happening in our lives on a consistent and daily basis. I see the bible alive in my life.
Penelope: My name is Penelope and I’m 27 years old. I’ve been saved for almost 8 years now. I am a youth minister at One Body in Christ in Love. I have a ministry for young women; it’s called God’s Royal Diadems. I’m also a fashion designer. I’m a big advocate for abstinence.
How did you meet your mate?
Jason: I met Penelope at my church, One Body in Christ in Love. We just hit it off really cool, just friends. Her personality is very charismatic and out there. She was fun to be around. That’s how we met at our church, that’s my version because her story is different.
Penelope: The first thing that comes to mind. I was saved for about a year before I visited Jason’s church. I had a relationship with God and was learning more about Him. I didn’t quite know Him to the point where I knew His voice. I was going to a church that I was attending downtown and I wasn’t experiencing the Holy Spirit. I would experience the Holy Spirit at home but when I got to church I would think “what’s happening?”. One day while on the bus speaking to the guy I was dating who wanted to marry me and we were going back and forth arguing. There was a young lady on the bus,—this is going to lead up to how we met— who was from Jason’s church, who heard my conversation and she followed me off of the bus. She stopped me and said “God told me to tell you something.” I was baffled that God talked to people. She continued by saying that “God says that you are a queen and He has your king.” I then asked her what church she attended because I had never heard of God speaking to people. She invited me to church. Once I visited her church, I forgot about the word that she had spoken to me. The first time I saw Jason, I was immediately attracted to him and had a crush on him.
How long did you date and how long was your engagement?
Jason: At first we were friends for about 5 years. I’m a firm believer that God will show who you’re supposed to marry. Penelope believed that God showed her that I was her husband. When I found that I out, I didn’t believe that. She didn’t tell me, I heard from someone else. God wasn’t showing me that, so I put that on the shelf. I was previously engaged and didn’t know about seeking God concerning your mate. I didn’t know about praying, fasting and speaking to your leadership. We (previous fiancée) both believed at the time that God brought us together. About a month before the wedding, God showed me that she was not my wife. I then began to seek God concerning my wife and God eventually confirmed that she (Penelope) was my wife and we took our relationship to the next level.
Penelope: We were friends for about 5 years. After God showed us that we were meant to be together, we got engaged. We were engaged for 2 years.
Me: How long did you date?
Penelope: Our dating was within the engagement. We already knew each and were friends. We believe that if God shows you your spouse, what are you waiting for? We got married after 2 years.
Jason: Which was a long time! *laughs*
Penelope: A looong time. It felt so long.
How early on in the relationship did the subject of sex come up?
Jason: As soon as we got engaged we started talking about the issues with sex that people typically shy away from. We found out each thoughts on the subject of sex. We had some different views on a couple of things. We said we needed to come to an agreement so as to not hinder the intimacy in our marriage.
Penelople: Because the subject of sex is so taboo in the church, I was wondering “why are we talking about this?” You’re so deprogrammed and detached from the subject of sex, it’s almost like a disease. I felt nasty, like “you talk about sex, seriously?” *laughs* Through our relationship, it brought me to another level of freedom. At first I thought it was a sin.
How long were you abstaining before your met your mate?
Jason: 10 years, up until marriage.
Penelope: 7 years, up until marriage.
In what ways do you think keeping sex out of your relationship benefitted the relationship?
Penelope: So many benefits. It builds a testimony for someone else. It helps you appreciate the other person. It creates an even deeper intimacy. These days no one has time to get to know each other, basically its “OMG, you’re hot let’s do it!”. When you wait, it’s so pure. And God honors that. Even now in ministry I can tell kids they can wait because I’m a living testimony.
Jason: Whether you’re saved or unsaved there is a spiritual connection that happens when you have sex with someone you’re not married to. A lot of individuals find themselves unable to get over the person they’ve had sex with, and they don’t realize there was a spiritual connection there. God made sex to be a powerful tool to link two humans together BUT in the confines of a marriage. Sex affects your identity and even how you see yourself. Young men aren’t even concerned with their seed; they don’t even care where they drop a part of who they are. They don’t care where they drop their next son or daughter. That’s a sign of low self-esteem. If I don’t care about who I am, why would I care about my seed? If I have no responsibility for the seed that I carry in my testicles, why would I be responsible for the child I bring into the world? Waiting causes you to fall in love with who the person is and not what they do. I found out there’s so much you can do in a marriage besides have sex all day.
Were you ever tempted to give in to the temptation to have sex?
Penelope: Yea, plenty of times girl! *laughs*
Jason: The key was this: the standards that we had before we met each other are the same standards we brought into our relationship. Penelope loved God more than she loved me. We were tempted but we had standards in our relationship. We would not cross certain boundaries. One was that we would not talk to each other after a certain time at night—-
Penelope: —-You start getting the Barry White voice *laughs*
Jason: We had curfews to be home at a certain time. We knew that there was a part of us, our flesh, which wanted to overstep God’s boundaries. Love has boundaries.
Penelope: I will add, that when you’ve waited on God and you’re attracted to this person, you have to make sure not to be a stumbling block to the other person. If a wore a certain pair of pants and I notice that he keeps staring at my butt, in my mind I tell myself that I won’t wear those pants anymore. Or we would hug each other and the hug would linger on and we had to decide to start giving “church hugs”. The flesh only needs a little room and it goes crazy. We would pinpoint things and make sure to voice our weakness to one another. Lastly, we always reminded one another that we were brother and sister in Christ and that usually got us straight.
Me: So you guys didn’t even kiss before you got married?
Penelope: No, that’s why I mentioned that a hug was so tempting.
Jason: In dating for 2 years, if anyone should have fallen it should’ve been us. But we knew that the other person wasn’t going anywhere. We knew that we had to sacrifice during the engagement. If you don’t learn how to sacrifice during the courting period, you will not sacrifice in your marriage. Whatever you are before you get married, you are going to be that in the marriage. If you’re selfish, inconsiderate and unable to sacrifice, that’s what you’re going to have in your marriage. The church today is a really good example of how to get a divorce. Sex cannot keep a marriage. You cannot be in the bed 24/7, even though you would like to. No matter how good you are in the bed, you’re still going to have to get up and deal with that person’s attitude, their selfishness, etc.
Why do you believe God asks us to remain pure before marriage?
Penelope: I believe that God wants us to remain pure before marriage because number 1, the bible says that we are the temple of the Holy Spirit. Whatever you become one with, that’s who you are. God is a God of covenant. If someone doesn’t respect His temple enough to say, “I’ll lay down my life”. God calls us to walk in the Spirit. The bible tells us that if you do your body any kind of way, I will destroy it because it’s of no use to Him. It saves us so much pain.
Jason: When we look at the world, they’re not doing things God’s way. They’re not sticking with His standards. Look at what’s the result of that: STD’s, unwanted pregnancies, emotional damage and soul ties. All of which are the result of you not obeying God. Jeremiah 29:11 tells us “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”. He has put these tenets in place because He loves us and doesn’t want anything to hinder our relationship with Him. God knows the step by step process for a successful marriage. When you build your marriage the way God wants you to be build it, you will reap the benefits.
What are some finals thoughts/words of encouragement for the readers?
Jason: I’m not oblivious to the fact that people can hear our story and still say “It’s just too hard”. I never want to come off as so holy. I come from a background of drugs, alcohol, sex left and right, running trains and not believing I would live past the age of 24. I had a really messed up lifestyle out there. A lot of the things people were doing in their 20s I was doing in my teens, that almost got me killed and I didn’t care. I’m not coming from a background where all my life I was a virgin. So when I met Christ, I wanted something different. I was sick and tired of the world. I told the Lord that I wanted something different. I didn’t even believe the bible. I thought the bible was a bunch of stories. My mindset concerning why I go after God the way I do and my passion for godly relationships, has to do with all the hell I went through. It is possible for you to do as well. The question is, are you willing to let go of your mindset and your lifestyle? What you’ve been doing hasn’t been working for you. I am a real person and I deal with real issues, even now. I’m not this Super Hero Christian man that people think I am. Everything came from depending on the strength of Jesus. How did I depend on Jesus? By reading my bible daily, surrounding myself with other believers and go to church often and getting involved.
Penelope: It’s sad because we are such a microwave society. We want everything right now and we think we can do everything ourselves. Some of the best things in life are worth waiting for, worth working hard for. Christ is God in the flesh. Start a relationship with God and He’ll begin to change your desires and give you patience. He’s so fulfilling that that (sex) won’t be at the forefront of your mind. Marriage is kind of an idol in society. We have it as this fairytale, when it’s really a greater level of death. Yes it’s beautiful and it glorifies God. You have to let go of your mentality and become one with someone else’s mentality. Are you willing to sacrifice? Are you willing to let go of how you do things? What happened to enjoying life? Travelling the world? Finding who you are and what you like?